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| Last Live Concert |
"I was duped!", the diminutive, adorable White howled. "I was promised that Japan with all its fish would be a paradise. They said I would be safe."
White, better know as 'Hello Kitty', originally agreed to the arrangement, lured by fame, fortune and fish. She was not disappointed.
"To be loved by so many adoring fans! My name in lights! Fresh tuna!"
Sadly, greed overcame her parents who, in need of ready cash, allowed their charge to be hijacked.
'For an innocent such as me-ow, it was all too much," White purred, favoring her right shoulder. The girlish icon is rumored to be suffering from pawasoris, in spite of claims to the contrary by her new 'guardian' Meow Say Tung.
"They took away my cream," Kitty hissed. "They say I must eat rice like everyone else!"
Demand for her likeness continues to grow world-wide amid grumbles of declining quality. Further ruffling her fur, royalties recently estimated near 100 million have been drastically reduced:
"One small fish a week! Who can survive on that!"
Since releasing her statement via Skype last month, no further communication has been forthcoming. Her scheduled appearance at an annual NYC parade caused further unrest when a giant balloon likeness served as a substitute. An inside source, speaking under anonymity, attests that after the now infamous video conference, Kitty's signature pink cell phone did not survive contact with a jack boot. Her parting yowls, however, were overhead:
"I have claws and I'm not afraid to use them!"
We'll keep you updated...
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